Until We Meet Again
by McGeekle
Summary: Tag to 11x02 promo. "Everything in our life has tried to keep us apart. Everything. But I love you," his voice cracked as he began to tear up, defeat laced throughout his form. "And it just doesn't seem like enough, you know? Love doesn't seem like a strong enough word. It's so much more than that. But here we are, and so much more than love can't even keep us together."


It was a reasonably warm day in Israel. It was one of the first times since Tony had set foot in the country that it didn't feel like he was standing on the sun. There was a slight breeze in the air, tinged with the smell of orange and some exotic spice he still couldn't put his finger on. He looked over at Ziva, her curls blowing slightly in the wind. Her effortless beauty overwhelming him once again, knowing that moment could be one of the last times he would see it.

She didn't look back at him. She could feel his gaze all over her, threatening to break the stalemate they had placed themselves in. Every glance between them was laden with emotions they could not bring themselves to express. So they walked in silence, the tension of things left unsaid clouding the air all around them.

They walked for some time, allowing the breeze on their faces and the rustling of leaves to be the only distractions from the debates going on inside their own heads. Eventually Tony made up his mind and reached out to the woman beside him.

He took her hand in his and turned to face her, the pain in his eyes taking her aback. She searched his face for an answer, hoping that she would find some evidence that this would just be a normal conversation. She found none. She knew this was the breaking point. There was part of her that thought they would never reach it. But the softness of his hands and the sincerity in his face melted her heart and he had yet to say a word.

"Come home with me." It was the only thing he could think to say, save for pouring his heart out onto the ground. Even as he asked, he already knew what the answer would be.

She looked up at him regretfully, the sadness in his eyes enough to break her already.

"No." she said softly. "I cannot."

"Ziva…"

"Please do not ask me again. You know why I must stay here, but if you keep asking me eventually I will say yes, and I cannot say yes, so please…"

He looked into her eyes, the desperation he saw was both painful and more familiar than he would like to admit. All he wanted to do was ask her again and again and again until she had no choice but to leave with him. But he couldn't. He did know what was at stake, and it was bigger than the two of them. The things that kept them apart always were.

He thought back to all the almosts they'd had over the years. All the people that had wormed their way in between them, giving them a reason to stay apart, to deny what they knew was true. Jeanne and Rivkin and Ray and EJ and Bodnar. There were unexpected departures and homecomings, deaths and torture and rules. And when all of that was almost out of the way, when they were so close to giving in, she was ripped away from him again.

"This isn't how it was supposed to be, you know? This isn't how it was supposed to go," he whispered almost harshly.

"I know."

"We were supposed to have everything," his calm was wavering.

"Tony,"

"We were. Ziva there were times that you would look at me, and all I wanted to do was give you everything you ever wanted. And I thought I had lost that guy. I thought he was gone the moment that Wendy left me at the altar, and then there you were. There you were across the room all these years, just everything that I could possibly want in a woman. You sat there for eight years and you made me fall in love with you. I fell so hard that I don't know how to function without you. And you look at me like that and you put on a fake pregnancy belly and damn it if I didn't picture a perfect green eyed curly haired little girl running around driving us crazy."

She inhaled sharply, her eyes tearing up, because damn it if she didn't think the same.

"Everything in our life has tried to keep us apart. _Everything._ But I love you," his voice cracked as he began to tear up, defeat laced throughout his form. "And it just doesn't seem like enough, you know? Love doesn't seem like a strong enough word. It's so much more than that. But here we are, and so much more than love can't even keep us together."

He stood in front of her, his soul bared for her to see. She stepped forward, taking his face in her hands, and stroking his tears away with her thumbs.

"You have been holding that in for some time, yes?"

"Yeah," he said tearfully

"I can tell. And I wish I could say something to take your pain away. I wish that life was fair and that I could have found my way to you long ago."

"All those years ago, in autopsy after Jenny…you said that nothing was inevitable, and I didn't want to believe you. Of all things for you to be right about…"

"I was wrong."

"From where I'm standing that doesn't seem to be the case."

"But it is. Falling in love with you was inevitable. It has always been, and I have known it for quite some time. I told you once that I wanted to live without regrets. But if there is one thing that I regret most in life, it is that I never had the chance to be with you, to love you as you deserve to be loved. You have the biggest heart of any man I have ever known. To know that I have a place in it, and to be loved by you, I consider that my greatest gift. Even in these circumstances I have loved you more fully than I have ever loved anyone. I cannot tell you what that means to me. What you mean to me."

"You can't say it past tense like that."

"What?"

"You said loved, past tense."

"I assure you, my love will always be present."

"Promise?"

Looking deeply into his eyes, she leaned up and pressed her lips to his. They sighed into the kiss, the years of desire finally coming to fruition. He let her take control, her hand drifting to his neck, stroking him softly as he brought his hands up to embrace her. He placed one on her hip, the other just above her waist. She nibbled on his bottom lip and he pulled her closer to him as his thumbs gently stroked her. The kiss was unhurried, the stroking of tongues slow and passionate, the pent up emotions released into the air as the taste of their tears mixed with the sweetness of their embrace.

When she pulled away she rested their foreheads together, eyes closed, absorbing what had happened between them, relishing in their closeness. She gently scratched the back of his neck with her fingers, soothing him in a strange way. He stood, his hands still firmly in place, wanting nothing more than to extend the moment into eternity. After a moment, she leaned up to kiss him again, their bodies molded together, a perfect fit, just as he knew they would be. This kiss was softer, somehow even more emotional than the last. She was the first to break away once again.

"I am sorry I have to do this to you. I am so sorry," she said tearfully.

"I know. I'm sorry too."

"For what?"

"For not being able to save you."

"No my love, it is my turn to save _you_."

He shook his head gently, his forehead rolling against hers as they rested together.

"I'm going to miss you so much."

"And I you," she said as a tear made it's way down her cheek.

"I don't know if I can do it without you."

"You can. I know you can, and you will. Because if you do not, I will have no one to come to."

He nodded indistinctly, feeling a weak pang of hope in his chest that someday she would be in his arms again. He parted their foreheads, leaning back slightly to look her in the eye.

"I want to come home to you, Tony. I do not know when it will be, or if it will be…probably not for a long time. But I will always want you."

"Then let's not waste any more time."

With another sweet kiss he took her hand in his, and together they made their way back to their temporary sanctuary.

Later, with her fingers entwined with his and her head against his chest, she knew that she would do anything, give anything, fight anything to make her way home to him.


End file.
